Wednesday, March 23, 2011


Before I get into this review, I feel compelled to mention something: The Aussie trying to speak like an Alabama native was, quite possibly, the dumbest idea in cinema history. Except for casting Judge Reinhold as a Black Ops officer in "Project: Human Weapon". Peter Jackson set the bar pretty high for Australian filmmakers, so it's only natural that I compare what could be done, with what is actually done. Unfortunately, I found this effort... lacking.

*SPOILER ALERT* The plot to this film is something like this:

Australian dude is some kind of super genius doctor trying to cure AIDS or something. The company he works for is secretly run by vampires. The vampires hire some ex-Marine (in Australia? I don't understand it either) to kill the doctor guy. Somehow doctor guy becomes a vampire (really, I wasn't really wasn't paying attention after four or five minutes), and he does what everyone would do if they found out they had super powers: He establishes himself as an underworld boss and... shit. I don't know. There was some stuff with bad guys shooting guns, and a council of vampires that were trying to destroy humanity because the pollution was killing them. Or something. Look, I already told you, I wasn't paying attention. This was basically a piece of crap.

The cinematography wasn't all that bad (except the part where I could actually see the rig they used to lift people off the ground) and it showed what the future of Independent Film will look like (sharp, clear, and almost as good as the studios) but the people behind the scenes must've blown their camera budget on that awful looking Kevlar vest thing because instead of buying a red lens filter to simulate night time they just turned the contrast on the camera WAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY down. Awful. So, yeah, it looked OK despite having a couple of glaring mistakes but that simply wasn't enough to save a horribly written, shoddily directed, badly acted piece of Australian crap.

Trust me, avoid this film. Now.

1 comment:

  1. It should have been titled "Blade: Albino Sunset."