Friday, February 18, 2011

Taste the Thunder!

There's a very real chance that you've never heard of the product I'm reviewing today. Just like the Moxie post a million years ago, this is one of those things that only a handful of my fellow Americans have heard of or tried. Despite the fact that it is the most popular soft drink in the world's second most populated country, it hasn't seen a lot of mainstream attention in the States or, for that matter, anywhere else really. In India, where it is most popular, it is known as a manly drink. A drink that will boost your machismo and, presumably, increase your attractiveness to the opposite sex and possibly Tigers tigers. That drink, dear readers, is known as Thums Up and it is better than you.

I first discovered this amazing beverage while shopping in an Indo-Pakistani grocery store near where I live (you can get ten pounds of jasmine rice there for, like, a dollar). I am a bit of a food explorer so anytime I see something that I can try that I've never had before I usually go after it, assuming Mrs. Attack Resistance hasn't spent all of my money. My first impression was not positive, as the bottle I picked up looked to be older than I am, and the nutritional facts were stuck on there with a hastily printed sticker. I assuaged those fears by telling myself that in other parts of the world, they still do things like bottle returns, and they expect the consumer to be smart enough to know that cola of any kind isn't really that good for you. I popped open the bottle and took a swig. The first thing I noticed is that it had a lot more... punch than Coke or Pepsi. Then it had a long lasting caramel yumminess (go to hell spell-check, that's a word!) that inspired me to pick a car up over my head. For serious. There have been some great reviews across the web, I'll post my favorites here.
I just bought some of this. It is the best shit ever, how dare you give it anything other than 5 stars?! 
It has tons of caffeine, and tastes great. Too bad I cant get it cheap, gotta pay a 1 dollar a bottle from the Indian market, but it does come in a cool glass bottle.
According to the literature women have absolutely no business drinking Thums Up. They recommend you stick with weak tea or maybe water with lemon. 
And, to be fair, a negative review:
I had some Thums up a few years ago when I visited India. It’s the worst shit I’ve ever ingested. Whatever you do stay far away this garbage that tastes, if I might quote my friend, “like liquid dust slapped in a bottle and marketed to curious foreigners as some sort of edible beverage while the whole country laughs at you.” 

[FULL DISCLOSURE: These all came from THIS website, which offers a much better review than my paltry ability could possibly hope for]

The one problem I have with this cola, and most colas sold in the States for that matter, is that they sweeten it with HFCS, which simply does not taste as good as sugar. No, I don't give a shit about the 'HFCS is or isn't bad for you' debate. It just doesn't taste as good. Piss. Off. Of particular note is the amount of carbonation in this soda. It's through the freaking roof! It felt like I was licking a 9-volt battery the first time I tried one (except it didn't make me feel weird in my swimsuit area).

In short: I love this stuff.

Go buy some ThumsUp Cola. Now.


  1. Ghandi used to drink this Shit all of the time back in the day. It made him pick up elephants (he was known as "the elephant pimp" in the ghettos).

  2. For the record, I'm totally okay with a comment (even from Anonymous) being funnier than the post he or she is commenting on. Great job sir or madam!