Gurl Nerdz R00l!

You know what is really, really awesome? Funny chicks. You know what's even more awesome than that? Funny chicks that play the ukulele and the flute. That's what you get when you listen to Garfunkel and Oates, the comedy duo that has taken YouTube by storm and has recently released a new album All Over Your Face. There are ten tracks here, and most are two and a half minutes or less although the tune This Party Just Took A Turn for the Douche (which might just be their Yesterday), runs just shy of four minutes. If you've known about them for a while (you're probably a liar) then you'll recognize four songs from their previous album Music Songs that have been polished up in the studio a bit and re-released to great effect. If you think I'm going to sit here and take the time to tell you about this album track by track, then you'd be right. *exasperated sigh*

Mood Music

To get you in the mood for tomorrow's post (which goes live at noon EST), I present you with the song that first introduced me to Garfunkel and Oates. H/T to Shakewell.

I Just Don't Know What to Say.

Wait a minute... yes I do.

The director of The Breed had obviously seen Terry Gilliam's Brazil (a favorite in the Attack Resistance Household) a few too many times and asked himself the question, "If Brazil had been an ill-conceived tale about vampires in the near future, what would it be like?" Well, I'll tell ya Dear Readers, it'd be like 91 minutes of a Swedish whore kicking you in the groin, only not as satisfying.

Everyone should be rocking this t-shirt. You can get it here (All hail ThinkGeek!).

Yes, Always!

My friend has lots of free time and he's also brilliant. You're welcome world.

This Is What Happens When You Make Superhero Musicals

Someone at the day job mentioned how funny it was that they were making a musical based on Spider-Man (if you're not a nerd, go here to see what I'm talking about) and they then went on to talk about how they'd never heard of that sort of thing before. I wanted to get into a discussion about how funny a Matter Eater Lad musical would be, but my fellow proletarians would have none of it, opting to focus on silly things like 'work' instead. Pity. Anyhow, Dear Readers, my memory was jogged and from the murky depths of my sub-subconscious came the vivid vision of Alan Arkin wearing a funny looking uniform and singing a song. Let's take a second to talk about that.

Smart Never Looked This Simple

The author of xkcd is much, much smarter than you. Accept it. It takes an exceptional mind to make up something like ChessCoaster. It also takes a twisted mind to come up with a webcomic that is equal parts sarcastic wit, hopeless romantic, sci-fi nerd, and Mathlete. It's more than a little bit scary how much I identify with the comics you'll find here, especially when you factor in the part where I'm fucking stupid. So what's the big deal? Why write a page or two about a silly little stick figure webcomic that approximately 90% of the people I know wouldn't understand? Well get cozy, Dear Readers, and I'll tell you.

Music using ONLY sounds from Windows XP and 98!

A brief Saturday distraction.

Taste the Thunder!

There's a very real chance that you've never heard of the product I'm reviewing today. Just like the Moxie post a million years ago, this is one of those things that only a handful of my fellow Americans have heard of or tried. Despite the fact that it is the most popular soft drink in the world's second most populated country, it hasn't seen a lot of mainstream attention in the States or, for that matter, anywhere else really. In India, where it is most popular, it is known as a manly drink. A drink that will boost your machismo and, presumably, increase your attractiveness to the opposite sex and possibly Tigers tigers. That drink, dear readers, is known as Thums Up and it is better than you.

Zombie Love

Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present to you the best looking game trailer ever made:

CRACKDOWN 2: This Time It's... the Same As Last Time?

We should be honest with ourselves: No one bought the original Crackdown because they thought it was going to be an awesome game. I would venture a purely unscientific guess that 90% of the gamers that picked up that game got it strictly for the Halo 3 beta. I respect that. However, players who ignored Crackdown and only played the Halo3 beta missed out on a fun game from the earlier days of the 360. It featured an open world sandbox-style environment, multiple ways to beat the game, fun mini games, good writing, and even an unexpected twist at the end. All in all, Crackdown was a great game that offered hours of entertainment and was a completionists dream game. Everyone expected a sequel to come down the pipeline due to the games sales figures, relative popularity, and the cliffhanger ending. That sequel never came.

Happy VD to All, and to All A Good Night!

I have accomplished only one thing of any merit in my life. Most everything I've done in my 31.5 years of life could probably have been done by a well trained spider monkey. Sure, I made a Canadian celebrity and his Communications Director laugh once, but it's not like the comedy world is exactly knocking on the door with job offers. I can say with some pride that I have climbed mountains, swam in vast cold oceans, got in the water with a whale shark the size of a frakking Greyhound bus, and I've even jumped out of a perfectly good airplane. Twice. Still, none of this really amounts to anything in my mind; lots of people of all shapes and sizes can make similar claims. For all of the cool things that I have seen and done only one thing truly matters to me. Truly counts as a worthy achievement.

In Mother Russia Blog Reads You!

This isn't a full blog post, just wanted everyone to know that this site: Яндекс is the second highest referring site to my blog. I don't understand it either. Clearly, there's not nearly enough of you out there breaking the first rule of Fight Club.

Maybe This Can Hold You Over Until the Inevitable Reboot

OK, the special effects are hideous (even for a mid-90's Roger Corman film), and it's about as campy as the original 1960's comics, but I still enjoy this movie. Sue me.  The acting in it wasn't stellar, but it wasn't really bad either. It's reported that this movie was only made so it's production company could keep the rights to it for another five years and if that's the case, they did a pretty good job on their 5 dollar budget. Plus, they didn't take a classic villain that was just begging to be made into a movie character and completely destroy him. Like some other movies I could link to.




*SPOILER(S) AHEAD!* 

What The Hell Was That?

or, if you prefer,

  

Okay, let's not mince words: This year's Super Bowl Halftime show was a travesty.

There's really not a whole lot more to say but I will, for your sake Dear Readers, press onward. I know that lots of you are probably hoping that I take a few swipes at the National Anthem debacle but, seriously guys, it's been done.

No. This hasn't been done before. No one in America has complained about the Halftime show until this very moment!

Right from the get go I should tell you that I'm a mild fan of The Black Eyed Peas. Some of their songs are actually pleasing to my delicate ears and, I have to admit, that Fergie Fergie is quite the looker. So I was a little bit excited to see what they could offer. I would now, very much so, like to rescind that excitement. Also, if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to replace it with dread.

What Has Two Thumbs and Will Consume ALL of your Free Time?

For the longest time, in order to share the fun stuff you found on the Interwebs, you'd have to either send an     e-mail, send an IM, or (GASP!) actually communicate verbally to your friends and loved ones. Thankfully there is a shining beacon of hope that has come to free us of the dreary act of talking to one another, or actually using the Internet for something productive and helpful. That beacon is StumbleUpon. Do you enjoy sleep? I hope not, because once you install this bad boy you'll never get to R.E.M. R.E.M. again.

Insidious Canadian Plot to Destroy American Productivity Revealed!

It is a sad but true fact that most Americans are almost totally ignorant of Canadian culture. Sure the Gen-X kids remember You Can't Do That on Television, The Kids in the Hall, and maybe SCTV but that's really about it. When it comes to music, it's even worse. Try this exercise:

As fast as you can, name five Canadian musical acts. GO!

Let me guess:

1. Ryan Adams
2. Rush
3. Alanis Morrisette
4. Bare Naked Ladies
5. Celine Dion (Canada owes us for taking her in, by the way)

However, there's a new storm on the Northern Horizon. A dastardly plot that will single handedly destroy all aspects of American society.

Canadian Conspiracy Theories Are Amusing

Since I recently completed a marathon stint in the Great White North I decided to make this week all about Canada. The first thing you'll notice about Canada is that it's just like the U.S., except cleaner and more polite. Also, everything is in French and English instead of Spanish and English. The second thing you'll notice, if you're anything like me,  is that there's a line two miles 3.22 kilometers long outside of a coffee shop called Tim Hortons.