Friday, April 15, 2011

Classic Kung Fu Cinema

Okay, I know that I promised you guys a Catman review in my last post. However I could not, in good conscience, go through one more day without telling you, Dear Readers, about one of the greatest films of all time. It's a film that set the stage for The 36th Chamber of Shaolin and Enter the Dragon. It's really that good. That film? Well that film is called Black Ninja, and it's going to kick your ass.

Holy crap, Ninjas are awesome! I mean, they're the pinnacle of cool. On a scale of 1 to 100, Ninjas are totally kick ass! OK, here's the deal: there's this black guy who, despite all common sense evidence to the contrary, has been trained in the awesome art of Ninjitsu. He of course wears a purple and yellow outfit that he can change into by throwing a magical costume changing ball onto the ground in front of him. Also, if he ever needs a weapon or an awesome Ninja sandwich all he has to do is wave his awesome Ninja arms around in circles and it totally appears in hands. I can't do that. Can you? OF COURSE NOT! We're not completely bad ass ninjas!

Somehow, and I'm serious when I say I'm not sure how, he gets involved in some dumb plot or another and hooks up with another improbably cool Ninja, this time a white guy from New York. Personally I had no idea that there were other Ninjas besides Storm Shadow living in New York. The title of this film really should have been Ebony and Ivory Ninjas Who Kick Total Butt On Anyone Who Doesn't Respect Their Awesomeness but I guess the producers knew what they were doing. There's also two bad Ninjas who appear to be white Frenchmen. I don't think they were real Ninjas though, because all the did was wave their arms about, get some new awesome Ninja weapons, and then retreat. This solidifies my theory that they were French, however. To my utter surprise, I don't think there was one Asian Ninja in the whole movie. I guess that would probably be to much awesome for one film.

Good luck finding this one. Now.

1 comment:

  1. I know it's a Kung Fu post and all . . . but how can you not give respect to Boss N*gger?