The Universe

At work the other day, I got reflective and accidentally wrote a poem. My apologies. 

I often look at the stars.
I get a feeling of vertigo if I think about it too hard.
How is it possible that we're still alone?
If I stare long enough, and engage all the Math,
I can begin to see a three dimensional view of
The Universe

I often look at the stars.
I get a feeling of sadness if I think about it too hard.
Could it be that all of this is for naught?
My imagination takes over, when I disengage the Math,
I see a perfect, three dimensional view of
The Universe

I often look at the stars.
I get a feeling of wonder if I think about it too hard.
Within the scope of all this enormity, why can I only...
Why can I only think of my own mortality,
When I see a three dimensional view of
The Universe

The Search for Our Beginning Could Lead to Many Sequels

Having finally gotten round to watching Prometheus (Happy Father’s Day old man), I am now prepared to convey to you the follow up to my preemptive review. I’ll tell you now that there may be a spoiler or two in the article below, but I’ll hide them so you don’t have to read it unless you want to. I’m not going to nitpick on the tiny details like I have seen some people do, though I have one or two concerns regarding some plot holes or inconsistencies (as well as my thoughts on the reasoning). Because this is a response to my preemptive review, I’ll answer all the questions and thoughts I had in the original article first, and then give a proper review after. Enjoy. Or don’t. So long as you’re reading…

Predicting the (Cinematic) Future

Preemptive Review

Prometheus

I’ve decided that I’m going to attempt a new gimmick at reviewing things, Preemptive Reviews! It’s going to work like this: operating with no knowledge of a film other than the teasers and trailers available before release, I will review a movie. Then, after seeing the film, I’ll see how spot on I was. This is going to be fun. For me. I’m sure that my tens of readers will enjoy it as well. Mainly because those 12 people consist of people that are legally required to say they enjoy my writing (Hi mom!).

NO KITTY! THESE ARE MY CHEESY POOFS!

Recently, on one of my favorite podcasts, a documentary was reviewed titled Finding North. The point of this particular documentary was to highlight the rather massive (pun intended) issue of childhood obesity in America. In the end, the documentary was reviewed poorly because it left the viewer with the impression that what they saw was a bunch of fat, American kids complaining that they were hungry. When I heard that my mind immediately cut to the scene where Eric Cartman explains to Starvin’ Marvin about appetizers. The comparison disturbed me on a couple of levels: For starters, it bothers me that the film’s producers took such a vital and pressing issue of American Society and made it sound like the mewling of a fat, spoiled rotten cat. Second, why is my mind so easily able to remember an episode of a cartoon with vivid detail after nearly 15 years of seeing it (once), yet can’t remember to take the trash to the curb on Monday mornings? Anyhow, I asked Charlie if she’d mind if I responded to her review (not to rebut, I haven’t actually seen the film, but simply to give my take on the cause of this issue).

The biggest problem, of course, is that the issue of childhood obesity in America is probably the largest problem impacting this country and it certainly doesn’t help us when a group of well intentioned people lose the thread of their point and make us look like fat idiots to the whole planet (and if you’ve paid attention at all to our political climate recently, you’ll know that we don’t need any help with that).

So. How can the point be illustrated without sounding pandering or pedantic? I have no idea, because I’m rather dim. BUT! The best part of being dim is not knowing when to shut up!

Gravity Is Just A Theory

Here's a story I wrote shortly after I got back from a very relaxing vacation in Maine. It was actually the day after my wedding anniversary so I was relaxed, content, and ecstatic that I had managed to trick Mrs. Attack Resistance into staying around as long as she has. For those that believe this story is some sort of contrived play on actual events in order to create a humorous situation out of my banal life (you mean you didn't believe my chicken truck story?!) I have provided photographic evidence at the end. You're welcome.

What Do You Mean, "Where Have You Been?"

What? You act like it's been almost a year since I posted. Get off my back!

The following is a tale I told to some colleagues in the Spring of last year, to explain why I missed a conference call. To protect my job I have eliminated any overt mention of my company's name (and yes, I agree, it is silly/childish that I have to do that). This is a departure from how/what I usually blog, but I'm trying something new. Let me know what you think by commenting or sending me a message on Twitter (@attackresist). Enjoy!

Single Player's Not As Fun In the Game of Life

Sooner or later, Dear Readers, someone from the States is going to impress me with their independent, quirky, nerd loving style. That time is not now. I turn once again to The Great White North in order to find amusement as I have often done in the past. This time it is a pair of Canadian Hosers the likes of which haven't been seen since Bob and Doug. A couple of nerds who sing songs about iPhone obsessions, girls that leave because guys play too many video games, and other assorted Nerd Friendly topics. I'm talking, of course, about the comedy duo Nerds With Guitars.

Sh*t Just Got Real

I have nothing more to talk about today after reading this

Sweep the Leg

Okay, let me set the scene for you: A couple of years after the events of The (original) Karate Kid, Johnny Lawrence's parents have another child, and emigrate to Toronto. The Lawrence's second child is a precocious little girl and, desiring nothing but the best for their little one, they decide to change their last name to Simone because the name Lawrence makes people think of guys like this. 25 years or so go by and Johnny's little sister is all grown up, looking good, and sharing her big brother's penchant for creepy skull-oriented face paint. No, seriously, it's creepy. But possibly the best music video I've seen in the last 10 years. No weird subtexts, no bullshit social messages, and no stupid hats. Maybe even the best music video since this one.

Can't Take Sarah to Gallifrey

This is a sad day for me, and probably for most nerds/geeks/dorks. I am on a business trip for the day job and was in meetings, conference calls, and other assorted corporate type things for the whole day. After many many hours of the daily grind I pulled out the sacred  iPhone to see the happy news of the day. But the man there said the music wouldn't play.